Step 1: Acknowledge

Acknowledging the things that were going on in my mind and were heavy on my heart played a massive role in my healing process. I suffered in silence for so long, and I could not understand why I’d randomly start to cry all the time or become extremely emotional. It wasn’t until my body began to react in ways I was unfamiliar with that I actually did something about my pain.

Now, I wonder how many people suppress their emotions because they honestly believe they are too strong to feel or they don’t have time to feel? I used to tell myself that all the time as a means to justify my unhealthy behavior patterns. How many people am I surrounded by that are suffering in silence and don’t feel comfortable to talk to me? I never felt comfortable to reach out to my friends, and I loved them. When do we begin to prioritize our mental health? Do we wait until it’s too late and out of our control?

Personally, my bag got too heavy, and I no longer believed it was worth carrying. I had to MAKE TIME to sit and go through my baggage and not only attempt to unpack my bag but try to understand how certain things got in my bag in the first place. I had to unpack to learn how to pack only my essentials.

However, I couldn’t do that being in denial of my pain or trying to avoid my pain. I had to convince myself and honestly believe that I deserved to be at peace — I needed to talk about it. Therefore, I had to be courageous enough to admit that I had a problem, and that I needed help.

Let’s stop burying the pain, let’s begin to own it. — Let’s talk about it.

— Ma’ Ronda X — Peace Be Upon You

Choosing to be a better me

Dad, I forgive you.