Questions That Need Answers

A Black perspective —

Does historical trauma play a part in why we are shunned from speaking out against those who hurt us? When did we stop believing our children, grandchildren,  our classmates, our friends, our sorors, and our frat? Why does it have to be "explicitly" seen with our own eyes for us to believe that our "pastor," our "uncle,"our "aunty," our "best friend," our "teacher," our "doctor,” our "parent," our "child," our "brother," our "sister," or our "friend" touched, spoke, or looked at a child, woman, or a man inappropriately? Why is it impossible for us to separate the art, the skill, or the talent of a person when that person is a monster? Doesn't the "Devil" wear a red dress? Doesn't the "Devil" dance well? Why do we have to beg and plead to our aunties, mommas and grandmommas to please stop protecting and defending perpetrators because they sing, dance, write, act, or speak well? Or because they’re "financially well off." When did our children’s wellbeing become the sacrifice to our satisfaction?

What happened to our culture? Our values? Our people? When do we begin to admit that we have problems and baggage so massive that it not only fits our ancestor's pain, secrets, and trauma but it holds our unborn children's pain as well? When do we stop and say "enough is enough" and this "emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical bag" stops with me today? When do we admit that we need help beyond prayer? Or that there is no one problem fits all solution? When do we admit that our Grandmommas don't have all the answers because they are dealing with their own psychological barriers too? When do we talk about why that person really committed suicide, had an abortion, had a baby at 16, or why they are really depressed? When do we start issuing apologies and admitting we were wrong?

When do we stop telling our children to "mind they business" and start telling them to "pay attention?” When do we engage in serious conversations with our children that teach them about the power of the word NO? Or about Consent? What it is and is not? When do we teach our children how to be more than a bystander when we see our "homies" taking advantage of that drunk girl at the club? Or when our friends are preying on young men because he doesn't look his age? Or do we just have those conversations when the police are killing Black folks? Is police brutality the only time we warn, teach, and speak to our children about the shit that is really going on in and outside of our homes? At what age is the “right” age to talk about this? What time is the “right” time to talk about it? When do we create a culture of “talking through …,” “being open with …,” and “validating …” instead of having this code of silence that tells our little girls and boys that their pain is worth more than their freedom and peace of mind? If we don’t talk about it, challenge ourselves, and hold ourselves accountable than who will?

Because I’m confused, and I need answers (actions).

— Ma’ Ronda X — Peace Be Upon You

Long-term Security Or Long-term Happiness?

Dining Room Table

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